1. |
[postlude] XXIV
04:07
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Get out of the car, it's Truman show morning light at
Five forty five in the evening
Give granny my arm, in a week it will be alright to
Sit for a while without leaving
I give thanks to a God that I can't but believe in on
Days like this that bloom and blissfully
Billow before my eyes
'Cos when you've been up since four in the morning
It feels like a miracle, this evening sunrise
I said at the time it's nice to be out tonight and say
Hey I'm Callista
While waiting in line I felt like a socialite, I didn't know him
But I knew his cousin and his sister
I give thanks to you God and think I'll make a list of the
Things you do that bloom and beautifully
Billow before my eyes
'Cos when you've been up since four in the morning
It feels like a miracle, this evening sunrise
Birds of the morning humming at night
"It's not too late, we await your flight"
Birds of the morning humming at night
"It's not too late, we await your flight"
Birds of the morning humming at night
"It's not too late, we await your flight"
Birds of the morning humming at night
"It's not too late"
I give thanks to a God that I can't but believe in on
Days like this that bloom and blissfully
Billow before my eyes
'Cos when you've been up since four in the morning
It feels like a miracle, this evening sunrise
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2. |
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I had a dream last night you took your life and gave it to a tree
You’d only sight for your lonely strife and not a single thought for me
You came back with a girl from the middle world more heavenly than me
She had short brown hair and not the slightest care for our heavy world so earthly
Well maybe she’s your heaven
Maybe she’s your heaven
I went to the zoo just to talk to you because you said it was the closest place to heaven you knew
Didn’t remember me, it made me miss that tree somehow
So I asked you about it, and how you found it, you said I’d never understand, I’m too damn grounded
Said the sun shone bright through the coolest nights and the chill it made you light
Am I too heavy for your heaven
Too heavy for your heaven
Too heavy for your
Too heavy for your heaven
I went to the zoo just to talk to you because you said it was the closest place to heaven you knew
Didn’t remember me, it made me miss that tree somehow
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3. |
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I tried to write a novel but I’m not that good at squeezing
Sentences out of sentiments
And down here in my hovel I’m not people pleasing
Tell me is this love without consequence
And all that makes it different
And all that makes it new
Is all that keeps it hidden
Is all that keeps it you
I am at the bottom of a building falling under
Secret sadness in the sky
Rain from clouds forgotten that will wet us all if we don’t
Take good shelter in disguise
And all that makes it different
And all that makes it true
Is all that keeps it hidden
Is all that keeps it you
There’s a drawer beneath my bed with
Pages of the things I’ve said in dreams
How phrases dance around my head
How walking lets words set like lead it seems
There’s a drawer beneath my bed with
Pages of the things I’ve said in dreams
The voices singing in my head
How talking lets words set like lead it seems
And all that makes it different
And all that makes it new
Is all that keeps it hidden
Is all that keeps it you
And all that makes it different
And all that makes it true
Is all that keeps it hidden
Is all that keeps it all that keeps it you
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4. |
waterlily tomb
03:19
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I want to weep a pot of paint
And pain my bleak house blue
Then gleam my tears into a glass
House topped with pots of you
I want to plant in them complaints
About your shade of blue
Then bask beneath the shade of saints
That grow from grunts we strew
I want to rip off withered leaves
And crack my glasshouse blue
So shards of glass and leaves may leave
A waterlily tomb
Then most of all I want to dance
Through smitten afternoon
Sun beams through cracks so love refracts
Off waterlily tombs
Whose tomb
Says you
Sulking by my loom
Whose tomb
Says you
Weaving words of gloom
Whose tomb
Says you
Sulking by my loom
Whose tomb
Says you
Weaving words of gloom
I want to weep a pot of paint
And pain my bleak house blue
Then gleam my tears into a glass
House topped with pots of you
I want to plant in them complaints
About your shade of blue
Then bask beneath the shade of saints
That grow from grunts we strew
I want to rip off withered leaves
And crack my glasshouse blue
So shards of glass and leaves may leave
A waterlily tomb
Then most of all I want to dance
Through smitten afternoon
Sun beams through cracks so love refracts
Off waterlily tombs
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5. |
the light I can't see
04:31
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You can’t hear this but I’m so in love with
You won’t like this but it’s all I see as true
You are the light I can’t see
That flickers in flinches in me
Scars painted yellow on blue
I wish I knew how to hurt without hurting you
Too
I wish I knew how to hurt without hurting you
Too
I am all spent up on little ways to lie
The only honest thing I do is cry
You are the light I can’t see
That glimmers in glitches in me
It’s not helpful I know but it’s true
I wish I knew how to hurt without hurting you
Too
I wish I knew how to hurt without hurting you
Too
Sanctify my sight
Clean my eyes of dirt
Holy is the night
When you bless my hurt
When you walk away from it
When you talk of days without it
When you walk away from it
When you talk and when we talk
When you
You
You
You
You are the light I can’t see
That flickers in flinches in me
Scars painted yellow on blue
I wish I knew how to hurt without hurting you
Too
I wish I knew how to hurt without hurting
You are the light I can’t see
That glimmers in glitches in me
It’s not helpful I know but it’s true
I wish I knew how to hurt without hurting you
Too
I wish I knew how to hurt without hurting you
Too
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6. |
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Wildflowers against mountains: beautiful; sublime
One withstands (the) winters, one withers with time
Lightly falling petals, waterfalls of ice
She’s got a frosty coating but it melts when you shine
But if that scares you, close your eyes
And let the splendour of its size
Embrace you, if it
Feels too high
Mountains to climb
But it’s sublime
(Enduring love)
I’ve no right to tell you what is right or wrong
But I’m sending out a sigh on the wings of my song
And it’s blowing through the wildflowers
And it’s bursting their throng
Whispering the truth that they’ve known all along
But if that scares you, close your eyes
And let the splendour of its size
Embrace you, if it
Feels too high
Mountains to climb
But it’s sublime
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
Wildflowers against mountains: beautiful; sublime
One withstands winters one withers with time
Lightly falling petals, waterfalls of ice
She’s got a frosty coating but it melts when you shine
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7. |
ask me to stay
05:30
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Ask me to stay
Ask me to stay
Ask me to stay
Ask me to stay
When I was younger I dreamt of this place.
The landscape’s a fragment of your face
Its green tides are your eyes, and I’m leaving soon
So take off your sunglasses, look in our cocoon
Foam up my coffee I’m sipping the sea
There’s salt in the bread that you bought when you
Loved me enough to leave me, left me at noon
To lie in with your soft toys
In our cocoon
Ask me to stay
Ask me to stay
Ask me to stay
Ask me to stay
Time to go; you’re out digging a grave for your dog
Your back glistens with sweat it reflects all of the
Sky blue behind you. Blue ‘till the moon I think I’ll see one more of
In our cocoon
At night the sprinklers are swaying like ghosts
Drunkenly making their way to the coast and their
Humming a lullaby, hissing a tune that I’ll
Sing you one more of
In our cocoon
And one day I’ll take the train behind your house
And watch the wanderers in your town
I’ll think I’ve never been one
And I’ll get off at Pieve where the platform’s pink
You’ll miss me but I’ll be back in a blink
For the bliss of kiss with stored-up kink
And you’ll ask me stay
Ask me to stay
Ask me to stay
Ask me to stay
When I was younger I dreamt of this place
The landscape’s a fragment of your face
Now your closed eyes are cliff sides
'Cos I’m leaving soon
Crying behind sunglasses
In our cocoon
Ask me to stay
Ask me to stay
Ask me to say
I love you enough to leave you one day
I don’t have to stay
I don’t have to stay
I don’t have to stay
But on the train I’ll remember
Rainy April
After Rome
The best night’s sleep I’ve ever had
It felt like home
Rainy April
After Rome
The best night’s sleep I’ve ever had
How it felt like home
Rainy April
After Rome
The best night’s sleep I’ve ever had
It felt like home
Rainy April
After Rome
The best night’s sleep I’ve ever had
How it felt like home
Like home
Like home
Like home
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8. |
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9. |
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Playing pool at the hospital at three in the morning
Playin’ it cool by the mortuary, no room for mourning
He sends love to the one he trusts to make night his morning
He sends love to the one he trusts to make night his morning
Flicks a switch on the kettle ‘cos his tea has grown colder
Not a bitch but he’ll tell her when her silence is colder
There’s a room right beside him where the bodies lie colder than ours
Than ours
Than ours
Than ours
I don’t know how the story ends I’m thinking it over and I’m
Lying to all my friends pretending I’m over feeling
Blue but I can’t pretend that it could be over with you
Not thinking it’s over with you
Just thinking it over
Playing pool at the hospital till duty comes calling
Playin’ it cool, just a Christian boy fulfilling his calling
He sends love to the one he trusts and holds back from calling
He sends love to the one he trusts and holds back from calling
Flicks a switch on the kettle, staying up is a battle
Not a bitch but he’ll tell her when she’s weaving a battle
There’s a man right above him who is losing his battle, oh Lord
Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Oh Lord
Circle right back to me again still thinking it over
Too much time cold alone in bed
How could I be over feeling
Blue but just like I said it
Couldn’t be over with you
Just thinking it over
Just thinking it over
Just thinking it over
He returns from the hospital
In one night he has seen it all
Softly breaks down my woollen wall
In his eyes now I see it all
Now I know how the story ends
Now thinking it over
Time to listen to all my friends it’s
Time to get over feeling
Blue ‘cos I can’t pretend I’ll ever be over you
Now thinking is over
Just thinking that over
How thinking is over with you
Just thinking that over
How thinking is over
It’s over
It’s over
It’s over
It’s over
It’s over
It’s over
It’s over
It’s over
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10. |
blood ran green
03:31
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My dear you’re the colour of the bracelet you gave me to celebrate a year
Since you fell in love with me inadvertently and brought me here
And we dined on blood red steak and wine
To celebrate that your red blood was mine (or something like that)
And our blood ran green
Oh what a scene
How our blood ran bluish green
Oh what a scene
My dear I wear your eyes around my wrist
My dear you were the first man that I kissed
After I cut my hair
And became self-aware
Became a woman
Found my peace as a woman
And my blood ran green
Oh what a scene
How my blood ran bluish green
Oh what a scene
My dear you left in such a rush this morning
No surreptitious touch, no fawning
So I scribbled this song on a seating plan
And slipped out to see my man
And my dear you were surprised
Your eyes were bright green traffic lights
I said I’m sorry about that fight
You said we’d try again tonight
And your blood ran green
Oh what a scene
How your blood ran bluish green
Oh what a scene
And our blood ran green
Oh what a scene
How our blood ran bluish green
Oh what a scene
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11. |
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I spent six weeks away from my boy
I found myself a small soft toy
Like something from a book I read in youth
And in that book how it was loved
Like it had come from up above
Somehow it had a look that said the truth
Why do we tend to love the small?
We love for we can love it all
I wrote that for a lover from my youth
For love's to cherish and to hold
A tiny speck of precious gold
But I couldn't send a card that hid the truth
Soft soul where are you?
Do you feel it too?
I write this song at twenty three
Oh what on earth’s become of me
How do I have the nerve to muse on youth?
But I’ve been aged by shyest wars
Which locked our youth behind closed doors
With nothing else to ponder but the truth
Soft soul where are you?
Do you feel it too?
Now truth will age the best of us
And paralyse the rest of us
And lies will let some marinate in youth
But from the start we’ve got an ache
It makes the smothered child’s heart break
We need to love – not be loved – that’s the truth
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12. |
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I put my keyboard in front of my cupboard because
I don’t need to access my clothes
My bare foot is cold on the pedal but playing sends
Tingles right down to my toes
My song sister gets blisters from strumming guitars
I’ve been breathless from my clarinet
But I’ll tell you, my piano’s not hurt me yet
So I’ll play all day
And I think of Mick Kelly and how she’d be jealous of me
To live in the inside room, to have the keys to never be lonely
It’s snowing outside what sweet day to hide out and
Play some throwaway tunes
And something in my heart is melting; it’s sweltering
Mourning and missing my muse
My song sister gets blisters from strumming guitars
I’ve been breathless from my clarinet
But I’ll tell you, my piano’s not hurt me yet
So I’ll play all day
And I think of Mick Kelly and how she’d be jealous of me
To live in the inside room, to have the keys to never be lonely
I've never been lonely
I've never been lonely
And all this time, I think I've forgotten how to speak
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13. |
[prelude] XII
02:26
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